To Run With You
by Fletset
Summary: Eric Cartman laments on himself and his love. T for language. For Brat Child2


**Disclaimer: **South Park is not mine and I am not making profits out of this story.

**Author's Note: **Hello people! E2K here, decided to FINALLY change my penname. I Hope you'll enjoy reading this story.

Brat Child2, this is for you! The idea struck, had to write it down.

Sorry for spelling or grammar mistakes, English is not my native language.

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**To Run With You**

Whenever I see you run, I want to go down there and run with you.

But I can't.

The wind causes your hair to flap as it tries to compete with your long legs, but it's no match for you. I know it, they all know it. I can't believe that you got this far, and I am very proud of you. I want to tell you that I am, but I can't. Whenever I tried, instead of "I'm proud of you," came out the words: "so what, bitch?" you looked at me when the words left my mouth with anger flashing in your beautiful eyes, you gave me the finger, turned around and left. Stan and Kyle scoffed of me, those two goddamned faggots. Kenny simply shook his head. My heart clenched in my chest, hurting me and causing me to get the will to scream. I want to scream, but I can't. Stan said that we're all going to see you compete on Saturday, and added that I will, too, come along. Of course I will come, what the fuck does he think? How could I miss the most important competition of the year, with you in it, no less? Stan became such an ass lately, I don't know why. I don't care why.

It was no surprise that you joined the track team. You were the very best, and no one fitted it better than you. You always said that you can do it; every girl could, in fact. You were always trying to prove that you are better than us. I never doubted that. I think that everyone is better than me.

…Except for Kyle. And Stan. And Kenny, too… and Butters…

You are better than me. With your studies, your looks, your character, your charms, your popularity… everyone is drawn to you, like a shine that glows in the darkness. None of the stupid fuckers love you, only I do. They all see your flaws, waiting for you to fall so they can take your place, while I wait so I can be the one to catch you.

You don't even notice me. You don't know that I'm there. You were drawn to me, too, once. But it passed quickly and you kept on with your life, while I remained stunned and flooded with unfamiliar emotions. You must know that emotion, everyone in South Park does. We are constantly surrounded with snow, freezing our asses off. When the summer comes and the sun shines and the snow melts… that's how I felt when you kissed me. But then you left, and my feelings changed and returned like the seasons.

You grew prettier and I grew fatter. You grew smarter and I had to threat so I could move up a grade with my so-called friends. You grew to be the queen and I grew to be the poor servant who dies in the end.

Why can't I say what I feel? Why do I curse instead of praise? I got used to being the ass, and I don't want to lose that, even if it sucks to be one. If I lose it, then I will have nothing left. Who is Eric Cartman without the constant curses and racism? Who is Eric Cartman if not a manipulative jerk?

I can't let you see me weak, different. They see what I want them to see, and you are no different, even though I love you. If you'd be able to see past that mask and into my true self, then I am sure you would be able to feel the same way I feel about you.

We watch and they cheer as you finish the second lap first. I smile inwardly, while on the outside I'm trying to look uninterested. Next to me, Stan and Kyle are holding hands and it's making me sick. "Get a fucking room, fags," I hiss, and Kyle glares at me. Stan says nothing. Stan is sad lately, and so Kyle is sad with him. When Stan would be happy, so would Kyle. Is that what love is all about? Whenever I see you sad, I want to go there and cry with you, whenever I see you happy, I want to laugh with you, whenever I see you angry, I want to blow up the world. Whenever I see you run, I want to go down there and run with you.

I'm sweating and it stinks. I wonder how you feel, running and sweating. You are sweating for a reason, I sweat for none. Your face shine from wetness, and I think how beautiful you are. You are beautiful in any way, and I wish I could be as beautiful and perfect as you.

Sometimes I thought that maybe I love you out of adoration. You are the perfect one, what I want to be. Maybe I adore you for that. But one day your friends got on your nerves and I found you crying behind the school, where I went because I needed to talk to Kenny, who was chain smoking there. I wanted to go to you, cheer you up and make you happy. I found out that I didn't want to do that so I could be more popular; I wanted to do it because I wanted you to smile again. I love your smile.

I hate everyone besides you and my mom. I don't know if I'm jealous of them (like Stan, because the fag had you) or simply hate them (like Kyle, because… he's a Jew. 'nuff said). I want to spend every free moment I have with you. When you were in the school's choir, I peeked from the window, which was – luckily for me – low, just so I could hear your angel-like voice sing. A few months later you left, saying that you simply didn't have time for it with your studies and volunteering work. No matter how much the teacher pled, you refused.

When you dumped Stan when we were young, I was so happy. I thought that my chance arrived… until you began dating Token, of all people. I don't know why you regretted it, but eventually, you came back for Stan. I wanted to kick his ass for it, even more so after I found out he was cheating on you, with a guy, no less. I did get in a fight with him for that, and he laughed, realizing that I had a thing for you. I told you that he's cheating on you, but you didn't believe me. Kyle came later, told you himself that for change, I was not saying stupid shit. You slapped him and went to do the same to Stan. I was surprised to see Kyle looking down at his feet and smiling then. I asked him why he was happy, and he said that I could never understand. But I do understand: he was happy because he had Stan all for himself now, because he won't have to feel guilty anymore. I know, because I was smiling, too.

"I'm sorry," you told me when I found you crying your eyes out in your front yard. I wanted to tell you that it was okay, but the words never left my mouth. "You'll found someone else to relieve your sexual frustrations with," I eventually said. You looked up, angry at first, but then you laughed. "I guess you're right," you said and left me alone in the cold.

You made up with Stan, for this reason or another, but you never thanked me. Do you hate me? Am I so bad that I cannot be loved? Can't you see beyond that stupid mask?

You finish the race first and we all cheer, even me. People think that I cheer because you represent our school and town, they don't know nor guess that I do it because I love you. Bebe runs down there and hugs you, and I wish I were in her shoes right now, wrapping my arms around your perfect body and laughing with you.

"What a great race!" Kyle says, grinning.

"Yeah," Stan agrees.

"Think we should congratulate her?" Kenny asks, and Stan and Kyle agree. They get up, and Kenny signals for me to join them. Stan tells you that you did great, and Kyle says that the other girls didn't have a chance. Kenny nods behind them and touches your medal, while I just look away, afraid to look into your beautiful eyes.

"Cartman," you say after you all fall silent after praising. "How do you think I did?"

"You won," I say quietly, unable to raise my voice.

"Stop being such an ass, Cartman! She worked hard to get first place!" Kyle says.

"Yeah, she'll be in the national competition now!" Stan agrees with a smile, and I want to hit him hard in the face for being able to smile like that.

"You-" I start, then gulp. "You did great, Wendy."

Your lips curve into the most beautiful smile I ever saw on your face, and you do it just for me. I think you managed to peel off some of my mask. I want to smile back, but I can't.

Whenever I see you smile, I want to smile with you. Whenever I see you sweat, I want to sweat with you. Whenever I see laugh, I want to laugh with you. Whenever I hear you sing, I want to sing with you. Whenever I see you run, I want to go down there and run with you.

But I can't.

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End._

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**Author's Note: **cries I made Stan and Kyle evil. Sorry for the slash, I'm such a sucker for it ;

Please review!


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